Ask women what they wish they knew about childbirth before they had their first child and the most common response is:
“I wish I knew I had choices.”
Our culture teaches women to believe that someone else knows better and is more qualified when it comes to childbirth. Hearing stories about friends’ and families’ birth experiences, reading standard childbirth books like,”What to Expect When You are Expecting,” and watching sensationalist reality TV shows like “Maternity Ward,” women get the message that birth is scary and dangerous, and is “best left to professionals”.
Even language directed at pregnant women assumes that women automatically agree to be under the direction of some higher authority:
- “We will let you go to 41 weeks, and then you will be induced.”
- “Hospital policy is that you must have continuous monitoring.”
- “You are not allowed to have more than two people in the birthing room.”
This all suggests that a pregnant woman will relinquish all control and submit to rules that permit few, if any, birthing choices. Consequently, many couples allow the birthing staff make their birthing decisions and approach first-time childbirth thinking that their health care professional should take care of everything.
When a family’s birth experience doesn’t go the way they expected, couples often feel confused and frustrated. Chances are, they didn’t know they could have chosen differently. Many women don’t realize that birthing decision presented by others are optional, not mandatory, and are in fact the family’s choice to make. Women can choose to follow the guidelines presented or not, and to integrate their own ideas into their birth plan.
What are your choices when it comes to your birth experience?
The answer is, simply, EVERYTHING.
Every step of the way you are in control of decisions that will affect you and your baby. There are actually numerous choices you are making throughout the process of labor without even realizing it, only because they are presented as instructions instead of choices. If those instructions were framed as questions, making it clear that they are your choice, they might sound like this:
- “Do you have your own clothes you would like to wear in labor or do you need us to provide you with a hospital gown?“
- “Do you prefer to eat and drink at your pleasure during labor or would you like to be restricted to ice chips?“
- “Will you choose to accept IV fluids as a routine intervention or choose to wait and see if the medical need arises?”
- “You have now been laboring for 24 hours with minimal progress, would you like to elect to have a cesarean since you are tired and we can speed this process along or would you like to stick with it and let baby come in its own time?”
These choices are so rarely framed this way and are more likely given as directives. It is key to understand all the choices that come up during birth and enforce your right to informed choice. Remember, as the laboring woman, YOU are the only authority in the room.
Feeling qualified to make choices.
Since birth can be unpredictable, you must also know the situations for which you would make different choices. This is one key reason for creating a birth plan. Going through the process of creating your birth plan allows you to be fully aware of your options and to state your choices, understanding the risks, benefits, and consequences of each decision.
When it comes to childbirth, you are free to make ALL the choices or to allow others to make choices for you, or a combination of both. You will be the person who experiences childbirth and will live with the results of that experience for your lifetime; so be involved and be informed.
Exercising your freedom and power to choose is one of the secrets to achieving natural childbirth. No one has authority over you or the choices you make for your body. No one has the right to take away your choices or to bully or force you to do anything you don’t want. Know your choices and trust your instinct. YOU are the authority on what is happening in your birth and YOU have the right to choose.
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