Before our first child was born, I unequivocally thought that babies should be born in a hospital setting. During my partner’s first pregnancy, I recall her once mentioning briefly something about homebirth which I must have immediately dismissed as I never gave it a second thought. Everything that I was exposed to about the birth process up to this point lead me to believe that babies were born in hospitals, after all, that was where I was born – a belief I held until not long after the birth of my first child.
The birth of our first child was managed entirely by midwives so I cannot comment about a hospital birth that is managed by medical practitioners, my experiences are also from the point of view of a father. Obviously I was not the protagonist in our birth story but I wanted to be intimately involved, and was involved and included in every step of the way. I was very pleased in this respect and was not unhappy with our experience at the time. My initial appraisal of the birth was probably positive as we ended up with a healthy mum and baby and I had nothing else to compare it to – but now I do.
Because of what I know now and have experienced from a homebirth setting, I realise that the threats of induction, the disbelief from staff that my partner was actually in active labour because she was breathing quietly though the contractions, and the resulting intrusive examinations that followed – surprising the staff when they discovered she was seven centimetres dilated, were completely unnecessary and only created more anxiety for a couple that was already apprehensive about their first birthing experience.
The whole process seemed like a flowchart was being followed even to the point of my partner having to provide a blood sample in between contractions because they forgot to do this at our final appointment. My partner was asked to create a birth plan which was nice but I doubt that anyone was considering this plan during the course of the labour, particularly after my partner was jabbed with a syntocin injection after specifically asking not to receive it, and having made it abundantly clear, all being well, that we wished for delayed cord clamping which did not happen. When I compare our first experience to the completely stress free, calm, joyful and natural process of a homebirth, they are worlds apart.
When we became pregnant with our second child, my partner immediately began to plan the birth. This time, assuming we were assessed as low risk, she was intent on a homebirth, a decision which I then understood after having had time to reflect on our first experience. The subject of homebirth had been brought up a few times since the birth of our first child so it was not a complete shock, but still, the first time I heard, “I want a homebirth,” from my partner, it made me feel uncomfortable to say the least. Not to the point of unacceptance but enough to make me question my partner’s decision. She did, however, seem so certain that I felt a strange assurance in her own confidence – enough to make me want to find out more and almost straight away, she pointed me towards some studies and research that would eventually persuade me to at least consider embarking on the homebirth journey.
In the end, it wasn’t the research or the studies that swayed my acceptance of the idea, particularly as it is very difficult to categorically confirm or refute the comparative safety of hospital or homebirths. It was the feeling I had where I knew that my partner had this one covered – after all, she was the one having the baby. The available studies and research about the safety aspect satisfied my logical mind but when it came down to it, the idea just started to seem so natural the more my partner embraced the idea. Of course logic and sense came in to the decision making process too, our first birth was low risk and our second pregnancy was considered low risk at every step of the way, we both decided that if the obstetrician recommended a hospital birth at any stage, we would not proceed with a homebirth. There was an ambulance station thirty seconds from where we lived, the hospital was a fifteen minute drive away, and we both agreed that any sign of risk during the labour would result in a hospital birth. Our midwife also stressed this point along with the main objective of a health baby and healthy mum. On top of all this, the hospital was made aware of when my partner went in to labour so they could be prepared – just in case. To be honest though, the thought of anything going wrong never really crossed my mind.
After accepting the idea of a homebirth completely, I was able to fully support my partner and felt confident with our answer at that first doctor’s appointment when they asked, ‘Where are you planning to have the baby?” It helped that our doctor was not critical of our decision and actually seemed to think the idea of a homebirth was a completely plausible option for having a baby – I’m sure there are many doctors out there who do not share this view.
So there you have it, a complete turn around – and now I wouldn’t think twice about where we would birth if we were to have a third baby. For a subject so controversial, it certainly seems completely natural to me now. The experience of birthing at home is something I will never forget and I am so happy that my partner was able to experience a birth that was completely in her control as many women are not so fortunate. I absolutely encourage any women experiencing a low risk pregnancy to consider a home birth next time around. There is nothing quite like the experience of catching your new born child and placing them on mum’s chest or sitting quietly on the lounge with your new born baby while enjoying a well deserved biscuit and a cup of cocoa at the end, or even having your daughter meet her baby sister seconds after she gently entered in to the world.
The biggest cause of anxiety that I had entering in to the world of homebirth was the reaction friends, family and the medical professionals would have when we told them what we had planned. While not all reactions were positive, something that still resonates with me today is what our obstetrician said when we told him we were planning a homebirth, he quite calmly stated, “… well it’s not a medical procedure is it?”
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